A living, breathing distraction,
i'm stuck in the mud.

i love mondays, they give me something to look forward to at night. From 7.30 onwards, im so glued to the damn tv set that i dont do anything except watch and breathe. okay, maybe i also secretly try to photocopy those steps in my head, and wish one day, just one day ill be able to dance just like that, or even better. im as drawn to that show as flies are drawn to lightbulbs (: yes, thats me, the dance enthusiast, the fanatic, its becoming an addiction i cant live without, seriously.

im terribly ashamed of the times when i actually had the cheeeeek to skip dance for partying or slacking around town, which are a compleeeeete waste of time and money. i should be banned to the dance studio forever, period.

meanwhile, i hope this obsession of mine takes off well with my IS, which btw is due in 8 weeks, and ive still got 8 mins more to choreograph. everyone, lets pray...

happiness is in the form of my latest post-xmas shopping bags. (:

John paul,

It has been almost two years since we last got together
but we’ve never spent a single christmas together. For me, its just another
lonely lonely christmas eve countdown, but you always had such a huge supportive
family to share the special moments, though its heartwarming to see, it just
hits me right in the face my lack of a complete one. I remember how my dad and I
used to set up christmas trees, then it fizzled down to my solo responsibility,
and now nobody does it at all. My sister used to fly off, leaving me and my mum
alone for xmas, it was just hard for me to leave her home alone. Then, the
partying phase started, it was just another excuse to get intoxicated, but
inside was void empty, zilch. When you came along, I was hoping you could change
everything, like how Kelvin changed my sister’s life, made her a better person
(of some sort..). So anyway, I just hope you will be the one to show me the true
meaning of christmas in years to come, it’s a long way more baby, Merry
Christmas (:

- Kyna

every year, i spend christmas with a heavy heart. its no different this year, what with screwed up birthday parties the day before, and a lonely lonely christmas eve countdown.

can anybody out there feel me,
cos i cant seem to feel myself,
there's gotta be a heaven somewhere
that can save me from this hell.

i just keep losing my way.

Its really not that difficult to ask to be loved, every festive occasion, every happy event, every single year, anybody, please. Your going to hate me for this.

im worried, nervous, absolutely unprepared for TSD nxt yr.
ive no clue what movement im doing, what text im doing, whaat the heck im doing in TSD,
GOD help me.

He's the sex.